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​Karl-Anthony Towns Traded to the Knicks

 

Biiiiiiitch! See, I was high when this notification came through on my phone. I was sure I'd read it wrong. But the thing about being high off THC is that eventually, you won't be high no mo. And when I came down back to Earf, my damn phone still said KAT had been traded to NY. Not only was it a shocking move in and of itself, it also carried an additional positive for me. This move weakened the team that was second in the West behind the Thunder last year. The T-Wolves got Julius Randle among others in the trade. I think the Knicks came out ahead here, and as a Thunder fan, I'm loving it even more

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Memphis Waives Derrick Rose; He Retires the Very Next Day

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Ok actually this one didn't have me looking forward to the next season. I mean, D Rose hasn't been D Rose since back when I first started podcasting. But he's still D Rose, nah mean? A former MVP. This means we didn't get to give him his flowers because it happened so suddenly. Almost immediately when it was announced he was waived, fans started speculating that he was going to retire. Then apparently, he released a video that really made people think he was about to retire. I didn't watch the video though. Even when I would gather NBA news stories to cover on my podcast, I wasn't interested in hearsay. Just tell me the shit when it actually happens. But the next day he actually announced his retirement. Ending an era without so much as a whimper

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Russell Westbrook Traded to Utah / Waived by Utah / Signs with the Nuggets

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Yeah at the top of the list of shit I didn't think would happen this offseason is this right here! Of course I know Russ is a shell of his former self, but he's still my favorite player in the league and will be until he retires. As mentioned, I'm one of those nerds who subscribes to NBA League Pass every year. This allows me to watch all Thunder games as well as all games of whatever team Russ is playing for. I guess I can't be mad that he once again stayed out west. The Nuggets will be Russ' sixth team and he has only headed east once, for a short stint in Washington. But the Wizards weren't going to be winning shit. With him staying out west and playing for a contender, the Thunder are my number one all day don't get it twisted, but I won't be mad if Russ makes it farther than OKC and wins it all. I mean, the Thunder are just getting started. Russ is on his way out. This is also the first time he's in the same division as the Thunder since he left. Too bad he didn't get traded to Denver a couple of years ago or he'd be a champion. In April 2023 I did manage to make it to a Clipper game at Staples (it will always be Staples Center to me) against OKC, so I got to see both my squad and Russ play a game in person. That was before we got Chet though (who looks like a penis with ears to me btw, but dude can play some ball), although he was technically drafted, he sat out his first year due to injury; in 2022-2023. I'm going to do my damndest to make a Nuggets game this year, as I would imagine Russ might be looking to call it quits soon. But it probably ain't gone be against the Clippers, because Balmer wants your fucking first born to secure tickets at Intuit, for a decent seat anyway

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Tobias Harris Signs with Detroit

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It wasn't that long ago that Tobias was considered kinda sorta the third of a big 3 in Philly. For a player of that caliber to sign with Detroit shows he's not interested in winning. And that's not a knock on Detroit. That's more of a knock on Tobias. It says to me that the spotlight may have been a little too bright, and there may have been a Ben Simmons type situation going on with Tobias too. He was like just send me somewhere peaceful and pay me. I don't have to win. Aight then....I guess. Update 1/26/2025: This one turned out to be one of my few miscalls regarding predictions for this season. Detroit is actually good this year. Maybe Tobias saw that before I did, in which case he deserves all dee props. My bad. I'll gladly take the L on this one. And what up T Wilson

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Demar Derozan Signs with Sacramento

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This one actually made me chuckle to myself a little. It's no secret how badly Demar wanted to come back where he grew up and play in LA, but it seemed to never be able to happen. With this move I guess he was like "CLOSE ENOUGH"

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Sixers Sign Andre Drummond

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​I know, Pistons Drummond was a very long fucking time ago. Still, I think Dre provides an able body to I assume back up Embiid. And with Embiid's tendency to get injured, Drummond may face times during the season where he's the main Center. He can't score like Joel, but his specialty is rebounding which has always been about positioning anyway. I think he can do a decent job filling in for Joel

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Chris Paul Signs with Spurs

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Lmao poor Chris Paul. He keeps trying to sign with championship caliber teams, but he seems to sign with them too late. With the Warriors for the past couple years I believe and still coming up empty handed in the ring department, now he signs with Pop hoping to make a last run at it for what has to be one of the last times for Pop. And yes they have Victor who will be a star in this league for sure. But he ain't winning a ring in his second year, I don't give a damn if you got the point god and one of the greatest coaches in the history of the game. Ain't gonna happen this year. He ain't winning one before OKC. Btw, did y'all hear about Chet and Wemby's rivalry going back years? They genuinely do not like each other. And I'm loving it. I will be making sure to watch the OKC / Spurs games this year same as I did last year after hearing about that

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Paul George Signs with the Sixers

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Ok. The Sixers are trying, I'll give them that. Whenever a player either goes to OKC, or plays with Russ since he left OKC, I tend to watch that player more since I watch almost all Thunder and Russ games. When Russ went to Houston, that was when I got a chance to see I didn't like the post OKC Harden's game. Like at all! In PG's case, I got to see him often twice; first when he joined Russ and Melo in OKC, and then when he and Russ reunited on the Clippers. PG is a great player. Who will never win a championship. It's just not going to happen. I don't think you can win with PG as one of your main options. He had plenty of chances in Indy. Then there was the big three in OKC. Followed by what I thought was his best chance, teaming up with Kawhi(et) in LA. Now he's teaming up with Embiid, but Embiid has struggled to win as well. And he's always had a small to compliment him; from Ben Simmons, James Harden, and now Tyrese Maxey along with PG. I would still be very surprised if this team even makes it to the Eastern Conference Finals, let alone wins it all

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Dallas Snatches Klay from the Warriors

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I of course heard all the rumblings about how Klay and the Warriors weren't on the same page with his contract talk, and how he grew increasingly unhappier. But still. This is Klay and the Warriors. I figured they'd just work it out. They won more than Shaq and Kobe won, so in my mind they were past the petty-fications of the LA duo. No matter how rough it got, they would just figure it out. Until one day my phone said, "nah bitch, you was wrooooong". Then to go to Dallas of all places. Greeeat! The Timberwolves have been weakened, but the team that actually beat my squad out of the playoffs got better smh. Shit, and we still don't have Zach Edey

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Buddy Hield Traded from Philly to GSW

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I'ma just keep it all the way one hunnid. I added this one because I thought it would be a nice marketable list if I made it ten​​

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Now, there are also some things I personally don't give a shit about, although many other people might

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​How Will JJ Reddick do as Coach of the Lakers?

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I don't care. I've never really had much of an interest in what JJ was doing, and I haven't cared about the Lakers for a good 20 years now (minus a short time when Russ played for them, with disastrous fucking results that really left even more of a bad Lakers aftertaste in my mouth. I don't see myself cheering for that team anytime ever again in the futuresphere). Plus, when I was podcasting, I incorrectly predicted Steve Kerr wouldn't amount to shit as a coach. So you see my track record with head coaches - more specifically white ones - is fucking trash anyway. I don't wish JJ any harm or ill will, but I just don't care if he's a good coach or not. Unless he started coaching OKC. But that won't happen bcuz we already got a coach....ya know, the 2023-2024 coach of the year :) keep yo ass in LA JJ​. And I am 100% in agreeance with Tim Hardaway Sr on this one. JJ needs to stfu too. What is it about these MFs thinking they can speak on other eras? smh

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Lebron and Bronny James Make History

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Ok so of course it's a really cool moment and I respect it 100%. Lebron has been saying for years he wanted to play with his son, and shout out to the Lake Show for making it happen. But let's just keep it all the way real. We wouldn't give two shits about Bronny if he wasn't Lebron's son. Laker fans with their impossible fucking standards, never ever not ever gave a damn about the 55th pick in the second round before. And I'm talking about the die-hard fans! Y'all wouldn't give a single solitary fuck. So I give it props for the cool moment in history, but that's about where my interest in it ends. Especially when it was announced in early November that he was demoted to the G League, and this article's headline posted on 11/18/2024 actually says "Bronny James' G League Struggles Continue". Yeah, I'm doubling down on my statement that if he was anyone else, no one would give two flying.....

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Update: BUT THEN!!! Today, one day after xmas 2024, MSN posted some shit that has now made me swear off of clicking anything mentioning Bronny, or hell even Lebron, EVER THE FUCK AGAIN!!! The headline said "How many points did Bronny James score tonight? Full stats, results, highlights from Lakers vs Warriors" So I clicked on it while thinking and maybe even saying aloud, "wait, he's back in the NBA? I don't think the G-League plays on xmas, and even if they did, they happen to play the G-League Warriors on the same day their NBA counterparts played? Do the Warriors even have a G team? And if they do are they even called the Warriors?" Would y'all read this bullshit to the end (a one minute read, tops) to see why all those MFs working in MSN's hoops section, and whoever the fuck The Sporting News is, need to all be fucking fired immediately? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE???!!!! And that title of the last section is the most egregious part of the whole fucking page to me. Highlights! Really? Seriously y'all, this shit needs to stop!

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​Will the Thunder Win it All?

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This one may surprise you being on this part of this list. But I, a former self-proclaimed Basketball Ho who has somehow become a true Thunder fan, have developed the patience of our outstanding GM Sam Presti (right hand over my heart, in Presti I trust). When originally writing this I started writing this whole soliloquy analogizing Presti playing chess with the Thunder, and wound up creating my entire chess back story here

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Basically, my whole point in initially going on that tangent, was that while Presti obviously has a wealth of picks at his disposal, he's playing the long game with the players he's drafting carefully using each pick. As a fan, I see what he's doing and I appreciate it. So, I again as a fan who sees what he's doing, have figured out I need to have the same level of patience he does. When I was watching First Take last year, Steven A said the only mistake Presti made was not bringing in some size before the trade deadline. See, Steven A is an example of someone who DOES NOT see what Presti is doing. I yelled at my tv back at SAS, pointing out that we were the #1 seed in the once again difficult Western Conference without a big. I did think that Presti would have made more of a concerted effort to draft Zach Edey, but I still trust him completely. Maybe he did go after him and found out something about him that led him to believe he wouldn't be a good fit with the nucleus we do have. Because we're so young, and as long as we have Presti I think our future looks bright. So I don't think it's a must win for us to win it all, at least not for another few seasons

 

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